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So this blog is a little different than most of my other ones. I am not going to be writing about mental health or my own struggles associated with it, per se. Even though I have a copious amount of ammo in the reserves just from the last few weeks. No. I have decided to write this message to “Millennials” specifically but also to older generations who seem to criticize this demographic without really taking any responsibility for raising them to be so “thin skinned”.
DISCLAIMER: I was born in 1983 so I am not sure whether or not I am a millennial or Generation Xer. I identify as a millennial but I could easily not be. Anyways, I relate with millennials a great deal because I have spent so much of my life working with this generation. So, for me, it is easy to see and empathize with the problems that millennials face but also realize that my generation could’ve exasperated their problems. Here we go…
I work with youth in various different settings and I have been doing this for more than half my life. Started as a Sunday school teacher and camp counselor in my tweens up until the present day as an outreach worker and therapist. One thing I have noticed is this overarching theme, especially by conservative pundits and people who may not necessarily understand brain development, is that millennials are too easily offended. Now I would argue that millennials are not more offended than other generations, but, how they deal with this offense is what has changed over time.
Hear this millennials: It’s okay to be offended…but…don’t expect other people to accommodate your emotional insecurities. You will spend so much time and energy on trying to get other people to change, so that you are not offended, rather than putting all of this time and energy into your own growth and development as a person. If you are offended by what someone says, saying to them, “You can’t say that because that’s offensive.” Do you really think that is going to help anyone? I would implore you to let the offence marinate for a while. Ask yourself some tough questions, such as: Why am I offended by this? Is what this person said actually true? What can I do to make a positive impact in this world?
I came to these conclusions over time, they didn’t come quickly but they were formed over many years and experiences. I used to be that guy who would tell people what they can and cannot say because it was offensive. I realised that this approach was extremely ineffective and I ended being more easily offended again and again and again. So that’s when I took a step back and tried to tackle these offenses another way. I really began to focus on how I was treating others. How I was impacting the world. How I was speaking to people I did not agree with. What I found (and yes I am aware that this may be purely anecdotal) is that by focusing my time and energy into how I was treating others, instead of trying to convince others to change their point of view, I was less offended and could really see how things around me were changing in a positive way.
Here is an example: LGBTQ rights. Now I was offended by how others spoke of this community, how they were characterized and the total lack of empathy and respect that were shown to this group. Now I could’ve stayed offended and wasted a ton of valuable time arguing with people about how LGBTQ people should be treated…or…I began to wrestle with my own prejudices, perspective and biases towards LGBTQ people. I started to see that even though I didn’t use language towards this group that some would find offensive…I wasn’t actively advocating for equal rights. Which, in the end, is what really matters. I had to start with changing me (I know that sounds cheesy) before I could begin to impact the thoughts and opinions of others.
You see, being offended is not only okay, it is normal and can be a great motivator. Some of the greatest (and worst mind you) social changes that have occurred have happened due to people being offended in some way shape or form. Large movements have started out small and then grown; the snowball effect. Maybe millennials struggle with this concept of starting small and slowly building up when they have been saturated their entire lives, at no fault of their own, with an instant gratification mindset. But if you want to find satisfaction in life and to not get so easily offended…then you have to start small and really dig deep into what kind of positive impact you are having in your communities. Jesus talked about this. Basically, treat people the way you want to be treated. Or in layman’s terms…don’t be a dick.
So older generations…give millennials a break. It’s not their fault that you raised them to be so easily offended and entitled.
Millennials…be offended. It won’t kill you. Just use the offence to make a positive impact in your life and those around you.
P.S. Check out this link that expands on some of my ideas. It’s 15 minutes, which isn’t really that long…but may seem like a lifetime to millennials. ;P